What if worship looked like...

I play in a worship band in church. We are a relatively small congregation of about a hundred or so; keyboardists are not great in number. Being on rotation with three other pianists, I get rostered to play about once a month. I began learning the piano in the early primary school years, and completed my grade 8 ABRSM examinations by the time I finished secondary school. Sometime in my early adult years, I found many of my peers in church getting plugged into the church community by serving. Somehow, it seemed that most would gravitate toward some kind of youth, cell group, or worship team-related ministry. Not wanting to be left out, perhaps, but also with a real desire to play the piano during worship service, I joined in too. I had long been a "closet pianist", and always had a vague desire to be able to play as freely as the keyboardists I heard during worship service.

To be honest, I have never considered myself an accomplished pianist. Even as a classical pianist, I was never very fluent, and always felt very inadequate as I never sounded as impressive as my elder sister with four more years of piano training! For an audience, I have only ever had my piano teacher, the piano examiner (once a year), and my family members who, I assumed, had to put up with my clumsy playing.

And when I moved on to improvising and playing by ear after grade 8, I found that even when I was able to play the correct chords, and could hear well, I struggled to translate what I heard to the notes my fingers would play. I became a closet pianist, as I felt shy about letting others hear my stilted attempts. When I joined the worship team, there would be a new series of challenges awaiting me. Playing alone is one thing, playing with others in a band quite another. It would take me several years before finally realising what that meant.

Now, I daresay I can play my role in the worship band - most of the time - to the extent that I am able to fit in (by more than just playing quietly so as not to be heard!). I understand the importance of keeping to the tempo set by the drummer, and to contribute to the dynamics of the song.

That much has changed. Yet, some things haven't. Still, I find myself terribly self-conscious, which often means I am not bold enough to experiment freely with different ways of playing when playing with the band. 

What more, playing in the worship team often feels like a lot of work - hard work. There is often a lot to remember - modulations, dynamics, number of repetitions, points to cuts, notes to play (especially when in an unfamiliar key), and anything else that could arise during the worship session itself. Some worship leaders can be more exacting than others, and when that's the case, it becomes doubly stressful.

So, what if "worship" looks like a lot of work, as might be convey sometimes? On the very surface, what people are seeing on a Sunday morning during "praise and worship" is this - musicians playing skilfully (or otherwise). Music is a God-given gift, which is often an instrument used by God to accompany prophecy and spiritual warfare in the Bible. The church deserves nothing less than skilful musicians! When musicians struggle to be skilful, when patisserie chefs persist in tempering the glossiest chocolate, when artists spend sleepless nights perfecting a painting, it can look like much hard work. Why would it not? 

During the praise and worship segment of the worship service, what is seen is musicians presenting their bodies as living sacrifices, their spiritual act of worship - what is required of all followers of Christ - in the context of their service as worship musicians. It is no wonder, if we should notice the elements which make up that sacrificing. Perhaps, that gratitude and reverence for God can sometimes be seen not because of how skilfully the musician has played, but in how faithfully they have persevered to keep on coming before God - with whatever they have - in contrition of heart. 

What if, the images pulled up in a Google search for church worship do little to capture the essence of genuine, God-pleasing worship? And if expectations are being set up based on those sorts of images, and all that is required in conjuring them up, it may be time to question those expectations. 

And so, playing in a worship band is, and should be much hard work, when musicians give sacrificially to hone their craft to fulfil their God-assigned office. Yet, great comfort is to be found in that worship is also rest. God's invitation to come to Him are for all - and He asks that we do so with childlike simplicity, acknowledging who we are - sinners turned saints before a Holy God. When all is said and done, and not a moment remains for any further practice, we simply offer what we have - and with what our hearts reveal, may He be pleased.