Perfect in all of His ways

You are perfect in all of your ways. What comfort is often brought by refrains of truth, as was brought by these words last Sunday, heard during church service in the song 'Good, good Father'. I had gone to service upset and uptight, but could feel that tension dissipate with those words. I was reeling from a disagreement in which I had finally insisted that I should have my way. I felt I was justified, that I had been wronged for too long - that I had a better way, and that I should be allowed - finally allowed - to do things my way. Yet I felt confused - I had desperately wanted my way to be the right way - but was it really?

Those words made me realise that I could lay down fighting, and rest instead, in God's all-encompassing knowledge of me. In God's overarching plan of wisdom and love, He promises that darkness is as light to Him. He promises His presence, wherever I should find myself. I felt cords unravel. I felt free from the burden of having to go by my way. 

I sensed the invitation to commune with Him - to bring before Him plain, unsanitised thoughts, raw emotions, childish plans in all their honesty. Hiding came with that first bite of forbidden fruit; shame was nailed to the cross. All too often, I have sought to reason with man, or to figure things out myself - knowing that God was watching all of it. Now, I heard His call to no longer treat Him as a silent onlooker. I am beginning to trust that He could, would, and would always be perfect enough to handle all that I throw at Him. Not that He would do things my way - not that I would always understand His way - simply, that I could trust Him. 

And as I lean upon Him, I learn to rest. The many voices which had enticed and confused me fade, and soon, I hear only the steady rhythm of a heart beating - His heart. I become aware of a growing desire to know His ways, and to reexamine mine in the light of His.